British Pensions Dept.

Once upon a time - and this is no fairy story - albeit it is still Grimm - when we returned to the U.K. for a vacation we held on to our Travel documents, boarding passes etc. Then when we returned home we would send all these to HQ Newcastle in order to claim our "Due Entitlement" of pension for the period in the U.K. They made no bones about the "Due Entitlement" - which is sadly lacking on a monthly basis as we live in the old Colony of Canada.
The powers that be in Newcastle, no doubt owing to a rush of blood to the head of the newest Empire Builder to sit in the top seat, then decreed that the system must change as it appears to work satisfactory which would never do !We now had to submit our travel details for the outward journey immediately on arrival in the U.K. - and the other documents on returning home. This of course had the effect of doubling our work - and the work of the staff in Newcastle which was the object of the exercise as they could now increase the Empire by probably 50%, at least.
This still allowed us to gain the extra remittance within a two monthe period of returning, which obviously upset the Chancellor and his staff at the Treasury and so a newer system had to be devised.
WE now have a three page instruction document which asks us to "tell us something about yourself" followed by a whole load of goobledegook which they should have already on file since we have been drawing less than our "Due Entitlement" for many years. We then must fill up page two prior to landing in the U.K.- saving page three until we decide to take another vacation, at which time we must fill this also and send it off to Newcastle !
This looks fairly straightforward until you pull the file on this case and see that your first application for "Due Entitlement" was made on the 20th October 2006 by airmail it probably hit their mail room by the 27th October....this three page instruction arrived to-day - 8th December... if we send it off to-morrow by air it will probably hit their mail room by - say
20th December owing to the bulk of mail at this Christmas period..."oops too late to do anything this year as we have to think about the Christams Hols" ... and so I shall tell our Bank Manager that the expected cheque for Veronica's "Due Entitlement"
for her vacation in the U.K. in September / October 2006 should be deposited by the end of February 2007...at which point the GB pound will have had time to revert to it's lowly place on the currency exchange !
Somehow I just can't wait for the EU at Strasbourg getting their teeth into Tony Blairs rear on the Human Rights Violations which have been affecting all British pensioners living in the old "Colonies" !The U.K. Government have declined the oportunity to "settle" out of court and are demanding a fullscale trial - no doubt as a last kick at a delaying tactic !

Scurrilous Reporting

A few days ago we were alerted by a “Breaking News” bulletin of an emergency landing by the new European Airbus 380 at Vancouver airport, the largest aircraft on it’s proving flight to gain it’s acceptance for an air worthiness certificate which will enable all models to carry passengers. The news reader made this sound ominous and this was followed by a long litany of problems , in both production and management with a great deal of stress on the fact that the aircraft was now two years behind schedule with many cancellations of orders especially by American airlines such as Fedex.

On a later news cast we were shown the aircraft making a perfect landing, and taxiing into the new enlarged gate especially made for her as being the only one available in the whole of Canada. After a short visit she took off again perfectly and more silent than some other aircraft taking off around the same time.

There was not a word about the so called emergency.

Later it transpired that a Boeing Aircraft belonging to the Phillipine Airlines had returned twice to Vancouver – both times in emergency mode on the same day !

That is what I call scurrilous reporting

Immigration Rules.

I note from to-day’ news that the British Government is to set “Britishness Tests”for all immigrants who wish to settle and / or become citizens of the U.K. We have some experience of this here in Canada.

Prior to our leaving Canada in 1971 we were British landed immigrants with full rights to vote in all elections, enjoyed all the same freedoms as the natural born Canadians etc.

Chap called Pierre Elliot Trudeau changed all that by repatriating the constitution from the Houses of Parliament in London., where it had been subject to the North America act since confederation in 1867, and HM The Queen appeared happy and joyful almost as she duly signed the deeds of separation from Britain.

Consequently, on our return to Canada in 1987 we found that all the rights and freedoms which we had enjoyed under the North America Act had been removed and so in order to vote etc – we had to undergo lessons in the English language and a test of our ability to understand something of the Canadian way of life. The children were spared this as they had all been born in Canada.

This turned out to be quite humorous as our as our English teacher was a Welshman and as it was obvious that we understood the language we were excused while he attended to many South Asians. The Canada test comprised of our ability to recognise the various Provincial Capitals and since my duties had taken me to many of these – it was no problem and so we sailed though.

This is always followed by the Governor General having a “court” in Ottawa to award the successful candidates with certificates proving their citizenship. Out in the “sticks” however this is usually held by a retired judge who comes along and does the same as the GG. We were fortunate in having a retired Quebec Judge who convened a special session for us as we were dashing off to New York to meet our daughter and would miss his “court”.

So now we have two passports which allows us to choose the shortest queue at the Immigration line ups at Heathrow when we visit !