Grumpy Old Men

More Beebglish

2008-03-21T11:49:00.002Z

Caption under a man speaking on BBC News 24 this morning: Restauranteur.

Restauranteur? The correct term is either Restaurateur or Restaurant Owner, not a mixture of both.

A restaurant is a place which serves food to 'restore' you (i.e., revitalise you), from Old French reastaurer, from the Latin restaurare . The restaurant owner is a restaurateur, the person who restores you.

Does this matter? Yes, it does when it is being pumped out to the whole world by the BBC - viewers assume that the BBC is a model of good English.

Beebglish

2008-03-05T11:15:00.002Z

Headline on the BBC website today:

Thirteen people have been charged with taking part in a childcare fraud alleged to have earned them £569,568.

Why have they been charged if they have earned the money?

earn.
1. to gain or be paid (money or other payment) in return for work or service.
2. (tr.) to acquire, merit, or deserve through behaviour or action.

Yet another example of the increasing misuse of English at the BBC. What they mean is that the childcare fraud is alleged to have netted them £569,568. We are talking about illicit gains here, not earned rewards.

The BBC's frightening misuse of English

2008-02-16T11:27:00.002Z

Take a look at this headline: Man who 'frightened' pilot jailed.

I was somewhat startled to see this in the BBC's own link to the article, for it simply gave the headline. Why, I asked myself, is someone who is easily frightened by a passenger allowed to pilot a plane? How do passengers gain access to the pilot? Doesn't the crew intervene? And did the second pilot take over from the frightened pilot?

It turns out that the pilot wasn't frightened at all, he simply feared that a passenger was putting his own life and that of other passengers at risk of injury.

Yet another frightful example of the steady decline of BBC English. Frightening, isn't it?

Replication

2007-08-10T20:41:00.000Z

It would appear - to me at least - that the word "duplicate" has been replaced by the more modern - up to date - upperwardly mobile word - "replicate" - which essentialy means the same - so what'e the point - people trying to sound a bit more educated perhaps ???

Spotted in today's Times

2007-08-10T07:52:00.000Z

"Burglar suspect dies after confronting house holder"
A burglar who suffered head injuries when he fell from a fourth floor window after disturbing a householder has died.
The owner of the property has been arrested.

How daft can you be?

2007-06-18T12:51:00.000Z

Take a look at this. When you've read it click on "refuse to believe" either here or in the article.

The more absurd a notion is, the more readily we humans seem disposed to believe it.

Test Post

2007-06-14T16:57:00.000Z

This is a test post. I would like you all to comment to see if your photo or any photos appeare.

Spokespersons

2007-06-01T16:29:00.000Z

Have you noticed that of recent times - spokesmen have disappeared - and at most events to-day - spokeswomen have taken over - why is this - BS can be shovelled with more perfume - I wonder ?

Immutable Laws of the Universe (sorry, but I don't know the source !)

2007-05-30T05:35:00.000Z

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs or Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

Civilised China ?

2007-05-26T16:25:00.000Z

I don't know why we still consider China to be civilised as in a late report we find that some 5000 rare animals destined for the restaurants of Southern China has been found drifting off the coast of China - the rest of us are bending over backwards to preserve many species threatened with extinction - yet here are many Southern Chinese restaurants featuring these same species on their menu's ? Where are the authorities in this matter ?

Seniors giving birth

2007-05-22T08:52:00.000Z

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 70-year-old woman was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

'May we see the new baby?' one asked.

'Not yet,' said the mother. 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.' Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, 'May we see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, 'May we see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, 'Well, when can we see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told them.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' they demanded. 'Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?'

Gang sentenced to 50 years in jail!

2007-05-19T10:40:00.000Z

You then read the report only to discover that fifty gang-members got twelve months each.

Here's an example of what I mean A judge has jailed 15 dealers for more than 41 years , oh really?

And this one Lovers' 30-year sentence , actually they got 18 and 12 years respectively - quite a difference. At this rate we'll soon see "Shoplifters sentenced to 30,000 years in jail in England last year".

Tough on crime and tough on the reporting of crime!

Making the war effort work.

2007-04-26T18:32:00.000Z

Last night looking through the local paper I saw another old working acquaintance had gone to the Boiler Makers heaven under the rule of Vulcan.
Working in the flame noise and dust of a boiler shop I suppose we are more adapted to the other place than sitting on marble thrones playing harps.
We met as we started work in 1945 with the war still going on but knowing we were on the way to victory.
Thinking of Jimmy last night it brought back some memories of those times and even to me they are beyond belief. The conditions we worked in would be considered satanic mills now, the health and safety officers would have a field day.
For a couple of my memories see comments below.

Packaging

2007-04-21T23:11:00.000Z

Since I am the one who prepares all vegetables for dinner etc - one thing which always gets my goat is to initially unwrap a cauliflower. No matter where they come from - they are all packed the same way.
Leaves cut back to show the snowy white florets, beautifully wrapped in plastic to keep them fresh - then sealed with a plastic sticky tape..... in the same colour as the wrapping... and I defy anyone to find it in order to ease the opening thereof...
Is it too much to ask the packers to use a different colour for the sealing tape ??/

Ron & the Marquess of Bath

2007-04-07T13:25:00.000Z

One of the less savoury aspects of "becoming of a mature age" is when every other statement one makes starts with "I can't remember if I told you this".
This one of those occasions but I thought it worth repeating :)

Spam on the rise:Just one in 20 e-mails are legtimate !

2007-03-28T08:07:00.000Z

The above article was published in a Times supplement on 19/3/07 and was of particular interest to me as I have been watching the increasing use of images to bypass ones internal spam filters. It is worth reading through to the end.

Dangerous ties

2007-03-19T14:45:00.000Z

D'ya know, I laways suspected that ties were unsafe.

Used GOOGLE lately?

2007-03-18T11:06:00.000Z

I wasn't sure if this was a suitable posting for Grumpy Old Men but I thought it was of general interest and not necessarily right for our Second World War Blog.

This post concerns the number of Hits one gets when looking for a particular subject.

The subject is partly covered in Wikipedia at:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:R._fiend/The_Google_Test

but I then went on to do some of my own research on various subjects, as below:

798,000,000 Sport
792,000,000 History
747,000,000 Books
608,000,000 Film
513,000,000 Science
495,000,000 Arts
441,000,000 World War 2
410,000,000 Sex
296,000,000 Religion
223,000,000 Drama
176,000,000 Word War II
72,600,000 Churchill
35,600,000 Hitler
13,900,000 WW2

I then got a bit "selfish" and keyed in: "Ron Goldstein"+"WW2"+"BBC" and was gratified to get 974 "Hits"

Have any of you noticed any other numbers like this on your own pet researches?

Now seen it all.

2007-03-06T12:58:00.000Z

yesterday while driving to the local country park to walk my dog I saw the following and wondered at the stupidity of some motorists.
You turn off the main road and climb up a narrow winding lane the width of the car that has passing points.
Looking ahead I saw a vehicle coming with hazard warning lights flashing but for a minute could not make out what it was.
I then saw it was a car with the bonnet in the up position meaning the driver could not see ahead, that sent me into a passing point lay by fast.
I ran the window down and as he came level shouted I had a roll of tape in my boot but was totally amazed to see he had a mobile phone stuck to his ear. He shouted back it is OK I am going to the garage.
The garage is out on the main road about a mile from where we passed so he trundled on finding his way I know not how and much to the detriment of all other road users.
I was so dumbstruck I never thought to get my mobile phone camera out and record the scene.
Do people get into a car and become immune to danger? do they think it is every one Else's problem missing them during their stupid antics?
After 60 years of official driving plus six years unofficial driving my Fathers trucks without accident I begin to wonder how I lived so long without being wiped out by fools and nutters, there are a lot of them, about.

Letter to the Times

2007-02-22T09:21:00.000Z

A recent letter to the Times bemoaned the habit of businesses addressing potential customers by their first names and I felt obliged to reply as follows:

Sir,

Mr.Muir (22nd Feb) has my full support when asking for a civilised approach to modes of address.

In the late 1940s, fresh out of the Forces, I had occasion to visit my local GP. .

He greeted me with "Yes Goldstein, what can I do for you ?" to which I tartly replied "If you've no objection, I'd prefer being addressed as Mr.Goldstein or Ron"

To his credit, he laughed, said "Sorry about that, I was an MO until recently and old habits die hard" and it was always Mr.Goldstein from then on.

Ron (to my friends only) Goldstein

Not a complaint but just HAD to post this !

2007-02-21T16:08:00.000Z

I am in the throes of planning a holiday later this year.

I like to look at the inummerable forums that exist to help the wary traveller and have just come across this item on VirtualTourist.com.

Enjoy !

Recommended taxi driver in Phnom Penh - Mr Tim
Posted: Wed February 21 13:29:21 2007 UTC

I would like to take this opportunity to recommend Mr Tim, a very humble and honest taxi driver while you are in Phnom Penh. He can take you to and fro the airport (USD7 one way) and bring you to the famous sightseeing spots (USD25 per day. Yuo can contact him on 855 12 388147.

He is a model citizen of the country.

On the contrary, be careful of taxi driver Vong Sam-Aung from Siem Reap, taxi no A35 (reg no 2A-2843). He's a cheat! Charged us USD15 for a bus ticket to Phnom Penh when the actual cost is only USD10, and there were 4 of us! He offered to buy for us and cheated us USD20 extra on top of the USD25 fee we paid him for his one day transport service. He is a shame to Cambodia. Be careful of this person!

I am now an official G O M

2007-02-15T21:14:00.000Z

Thank you Peter,
I am now on the lst once more.
Can I now post a story called
I Hate Blogs.

Your friendly local bank

2007-02-12T18:26:00.000Z

The Manager
NatWest
12 The Broadway
Southgate
London N14 6QF 3rd April 2002

Account No:

Dear Ms.xxxxxxxxx

On the 5th of February this year I had occasion to write to you concerning the embarrassment faced by myself (and I am sure other customers) when drawing cash from your counters. I felt this was largely due to the fact that Natwest are forever changing counter staff and this has resulted in my never being recognized as a customer despite the fact that I have been with Natwest for fifty-three years.

On February the 12th you replied to me setting out the reasons for the cashiers actions and suggesting that if I wished to avoid further problems I should present my Switch card at the time of my cash withdrawal.

Fair enough, I thought ……..until today.

This morning I turned up at the bank to draw my normal monthly cash requirements and not wishing to have anyone query my identity I made certain that I presented with my ‘pay cash’ cheque my Natwest Switch Card.
To my astonishment the young lady cashier then asked me to sign the cheque again as, in her words, ‘she had not seen me sign the cheque in her presence.

I pointed out to her that it was precisely to avoid this situation that I was presenting my Switch Card and with bad grace agreed to re-sign the back of the cheque to get her to pay out my money.

After completing my transactions I spoke to your Customer Service Officer, a Ms.xxxxxxxxxx who very courteously confirmed that the cashiers were only carrying out Natwest instructions and even suggested that I could bring a passport with me as additional proof of identity !

If Natwest are now saying to me now do not sign the cheque until you present it to the cashier then I would be obliged if you set this out in a notice displayed above your counter so that mere mortals like myself know the rules that you are laying down before you decide to pay us out our own money.

Yours sincerely

R.Goldstein

Vandalism at a London Jewish Cemetery in 2002

2007-01-26T12:53:00.000Z

The above photo appeared in the Daily Express of 18/4/02 and was taken at the time without my knowledge or consent. It shows my wife and I visiting the cemetery at which our parents were buried in order to inspect the vandalism that had recently taken place and to check the condition of their gravesites.

I reproduce this photo on this Blogsite purely to remind any one who still needs reminding that antisemitism still exists over sixty years after the end of WW2.

Interesting Blog

2007-01-25T18:51:00.000Z

No, not this one :)

I just came across this one. Try some of the ongoing debates. Some brainless comments as well as good ones.

Political correctness at its best/worst

2007-01-23T07:42:00.000Z

British Pensions Dept.

2006-12-08T23:05:00.000Z

Once upon a time - and this is no fairy story - albeit it is still Grimm - when we returned to the U.K. for a vacation we held on to our Travel documents, boarding passes etc. Then when we returned home we would send all these to HQ Newcastle in order to claim our "Due Entitlement" of pension for the period in the U.K. They made no bones about the "Due Entitlement" - which is sadly lacking on a monthly basis as we live in the old Colony of Canada.
The powers that be in Newcastle, no doubt owing to a rush of blood to the head of the newest Empire Builder to sit in the top seat, then decreed that the system must change as it appears to work satisfactory which would never do !We now had to submit our travel details for the outward journey immediately on arrival in the U.K. - and the other documents on returning home. This of course had the effect of doubling our work - and the work of the staff in Newcastle which was the object of the exercise as they could now increase the Empire by probably 50%, at least.
This still allowed us to gain the extra remittance within a two monthe period of returning, which obviously upset the Chancellor and his staff at the Treasury and so a newer system had to be devised.
WE now have a three page instruction document which asks us to "tell us something about yourself" followed by a whole load of goobledegook which they should have already on file since we have been drawing less than our "Due Entitlement" for many years. We then must fill up page two prior to landing in the U.K.- saving page three until we decide to take another vacation, at which time we must fill this also and send it off to Newcastle !
This looks fairly straightforward until you pull the file on this case and see that your first application for "Due Entitlement" was made on the 20th October 2006 by airmail it probably hit their mail room by the 27th October....this three page instruction arrived to-day - 8th December... if we send it off to-morrow by air it will probably hit their mail room by - say
20th December owing to the bulk of mail at this Christmas period..."oops too late to do anything this year as we have to think about the Christams Hols" ... and so I shall tell our Bank Manager that the expected cheque for Veronica's "Due Entitlement"
for her vacation in the U.K. in September / October 2006 should be deposited by the end of February 2007...at which point the GB pound will have had time to revert to it's lowly place on the currency exchange !
Somehow I just can't wait for the EU at Strasbourg getting their teeth into Tony Blairs rear on the Human Rights Violations which have been affecting all British pensioners living in the old "Colonies" !The U.K. Government have declined the oportunity to "settle" out of court and are demanding a fullscale trial - no doubt as a last kick at a delaying tactic !

Scurrilous Reporting

2006-12-07T06:20:00.000Z

A few days ago we were alerted by a “Breaking News” bulletin of an emergency landing by the new European Airbus 380 at Vancouver airport, the largest aircraft on it’s proving flight to gain it’s acceptance for an air worthiness certificate which will enable all models to carry passengers. The news reader made this sound ominous and this was followed by a long litany of problems , in both production and management with a great deal of stress on the fact that the aircraft was now two years behind schedule with many cancellations of orders especially by American airlines such as Fedex.

On a later news cast we were shown the aircraft making a perfect landing, and taxiing into the new enlarged gate especially made for her as being the only one available in the whole of Canada. After a short visit she took off again perfectly and more silent than some other aircraft taking off around the same time.

There was not a word about the so called emergency.

Later it transpired that a Boeing Aircraft belonging to the Phillipine Airlines had returned twice to Vancouver – both times in emergency mode on the same day !

That is what I call scurrilous reporting

Immigration Rules.

2006-12-07T03:34:00.000Z

I note from to-day’ news that the British Government is to set “Britishness Tests”for all immigrants who wish to settle and / or become citizens of the U.K. We have some experience of this here in Canada.

Prior to our leaving Canada in 1971 we were British landed immigrants with full rights to vote in all elections, enjoyed all the same freedoms as the natural born Canadians etc.

Chap called Pierre Elliot Trudeau changed all that by repatriating the constitution from the Houses of Parliament in London., where it had been subject to the North America act since confederation in 1867, and HM The Queen appeared happy and joyful almost as she duly signed the deeds of separation from Britain.

Consequently, on our return to Canada in 1987 we found that all the rights and freedoms which we had enjoyed under the North America Act had been removed and so in order to vote etc – we had to undergo lessons in the English language and a test of our ability to understand something of the Canadian way of life. The children were spared this as they had all been born in Canada.

This turned out to be quite humorous as our as our English teacher was a Welshman and as it was obvious that we understood the language we were excused while he attended to many South Asians. The Canada test comprised of our ability to recognise the various Provincial Capitals and since my duties had taken me to many of these – it was no problem and so we sailed though.

This is always followed by the Governor General having a “court” in Ottawa to award the successful candidates with certificates proving their citizenship. Out in the “sticks” however this is usually held by a retired judge who comes along and does the same as the GG. We were fortunate in having a retired Quebec Judge who convened a special session for us as we were dashing off to New York to meet our daughter and would miss his “court”.

So now we have two passports which allows us to choose the shortest queue at the Immigration line ups at Heathrow when we visit !

Standing shoulder to shoulder

2006-11-18T18:06:00.000Z

I've recently been looking at language again, an interest rekindled by my attempt to pick up some Triestin. I got into a discussion on the A Trieste site about the merits and demerits of Italian (Triestin is an Italian dialect, partly evolved from Longobard and Venetian with some Slovene influence). I found myself defending English against accusations of its clumsiness in expressing clarity of thought and inability to express fine shades of meaning as in Italian.

If we use English properly it is, of course, none of those things. But I must admit, on reflection, that certain adjectives and adverbs are almost glued to many English nouns and verbs. Take these examples, many given by John Humphreys the BBC presenter of Radio 4:

Feelings always run high
Doubts are always lingering
Warnings are always stark
Reality is always grim
Victims are always brutally murdered (are there any gentle murders?)
Outrage is invariably strong
Police with or without tracker dogs invariably comb the area
After fires daylight reveals the charred remains
Wreckage is always scattered over a wide area
Organisations are no longer criticised, they are named and shamed
Inanimate objects, such as planes and ships, suffer damage. How they feel this is never explained.
People die tragically (as opposed to dying joyfully, perhaps).
Reminders are always timely
Reports are long-awaited and far-reaching
Allies stand shoulder to shoulder

Things I find annoying

2006-09-19T21:07:00.000Z

When asked to spell my name, perhaps by a shop assistant, I begin gee aitch ..., to be haughtily reproved with gee haitch... making me want to exploded NO NOT HAITCH the letter is AITCH!

Then there are others who insist in sticking in an r in drawing, pronouncing it drawring. They are even doing it on the BBC now! And here we see a typical Victorian drawring room Aghhhhhhhh!!!

Or the notes at the end of a book without any page number references, and useless indexes which just give a series of page references without any sub-division or details, such as Montgomery, B.L. Gen: 2, 4, 8, 23, 45-78, 81, 87, 96, 234, 333, 456, 527.

2006-09-18T14:18:00.000Z

Hi,
So at last I get to be a Grumpy Old Man or GOM, my family thought I had been there for a long time, I do not understand why.
Things not to mention in front of me are;-
Income Tax, Government, Youngsters of today, Judges, Polititions, Pensions Taxes, The cost of fuel, Doctors and Taxes and Council Taxes. Guess it is best not to mention Taxes you may then still live.

2006-09-18T08:44:00.000Z

Discuss anything you want here, but please please not WWII.